


The First of Many Mistakes

by mothmanmonthly



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Squip, Fluff, Homecoming, Hurt/Comfort, Jeremy is clueless, M/M, Pining, Pining Michael, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-08
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-01-31 00:17:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12664404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothmanmonthly/pseuds/mothmanmonthly
Summary: With the homecoming dance rapidly approaching, it's the perfect time for Michael to make a move on Jeremy, who he's been crushing on for years. However, there's one problem: Jeremy has a crush on someone else.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi my name is Rowan and I'm incapible of writing anything over 1k words sorry
> 
> Thanks to @auroradallon for betaing this and helping me write the intro ily

If someone were to ask Michael Mell how his average day was, he could probably go a good fifteen seconds before mentioning Jeremy Heere, and around thirty before talking more about what _Jeremy_ did today rather than what he did.

In short, Michael’s crush on Jeremy was the most obvious thing in the world.

The funny thing is, Michael’s crush was once something manageable. He could go throughout the day without constantly thinking about Jeremy and how his cardigan always smelled like lavender, and how he always had to brush his unruly hair out of his eyes, and how adorable he looked when he laughed. Sometime between the end of sophomore and junior year, something changed. Michael didn’t know if it was teenage hormones or something else, but his best friend had consumed all his thoughts, and it was starting to become a problem.

Even though Michael thought that he couldn’t crush any harder, things began to spiral completely out of control when he asked Jeremy to be his “platonic” homecoming date.

* * *

 

Three weeks before the dance, Michael and Jeremy hung out in Michael’s basement bedroom, lying on old, worn out beanbags and playing Mario Kart. For once, the atmosphere was surprisingly peaceful, the near-silence providing a break from the rest of the world’s constant noise. The basement was lit up by the tv screen alone, and the only sounds came from the clicking of the wii controllers and the game’s upbeat music and sound effects.

Silence between Jeremy and Michael was rather rare. Most of the time, it only came when they were in an argument, and neither of them had the courage to apologize. Sometimes though, the silence was calm, like if they had a sleepover and Jeremy fell asleep with his head on Michael’s stomach; or when they had no words to say, but were content just being in each other’s presence.

Michael, however, finally broke the silence. “So,” he said, attempting to be nonchalant, “do you have a homecoming date yet?”

Jeremy cursed under his breath as a red shell hit his character, Yoshi, and sent him from 1st all the way to 5th place. “I don’t know.” He glanced over at Michael with a pitiful look in his eyes. “I was actually thinking about asking Christine, but I heard that Jake’s planning on asking her first.” Jeremy thought for a moment, then continued, “Besides, I don’t think she’d want to go with me either way - Like, look at me!”

Michael opened his mouth to speak, to try and rebuke his best friend’s self-deprecating comment and prove him wrong ( _with a kiss, in another universe,_ he thought), but Jeremy cut him off before he could say anything.

“Honestly, I really don’t know why I even bother with Christine anymore,” Jeremy sighed, leaning back into his bean bag chair. “I know she doesn’t like me, but now - god, I don’t even think _I_ like _her.”_

 _Holy fucking shit_ , Michael thought. Could this be it? Could this be Jeremy finally giving up on his hopeless infatuation for Christine to say that all this time he’s had a crush Michael just like he had a crush on him? _Stop being so self centered,_ an angry voice in the back of Michael’s head snapped, _Just because he’s given up on Christine doesn’t mean he’s going to come running into your fucking arms._ His reassurance was feeble against his already-racing heart pounding in his ears.

Michael forced himself to realize that sadly, he was right, and tried to get the mental image of Jeremy running into his arms and bringing him into a warm, loving embrace out of his mind.  He tried to forget his feelings, forget how much he wanted more, but nothing could get his mind off of Jeremy. Not even his favorite video games.  Four years of unrequited love can really do that to a person.

“Honestly, man,” Michael said as he barely swerved out of the way of a green shell, “If you know Christine doesn’t like you, don’t waste any time on her.” Michael realized the sheer hypocrisy of his advice a bit too late, but nevertheless, he kept talking. “You’re great Jeremy, and you need someone who makes you happy,” Michael paused the game, resting his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder, “And honestly, if Christine doesn’t make you happy, then go for someone who does, alright?”

Jeremy slumped back into his bean bag and focused his eyes on one specific carpet square on the floor, “Alright.”

The silence had returned, hanging in the air for a few moments, this time far more awkward.  Jeremy laid still on his bean bag, still staring at the floor, a worried look on his face that Michael had seen many times before. It was the one Jeremy had whenever he was contemplating something; his brows furrowed, mouth drawn in a thin line, and eyes full of something that Michael could only accurately describe as fear. srse Confusion, perhaps.

“Wanna keep playing, or are you done for tonight?” Michael asked, a hint of pity in his voice as he waved around Jeremy’s wii controller in an effort to try and convince him to keep playing.

For once, Michael’s efforts weren’t for nothing, because Jeremy eventually snatched his controller from Michael’s hand with a sly smile.

“That’s the Jere I know,” Michael laughed, “A huge fuckin’ dork.”

“Shut up, asshole,” Jeremy said, trying to stifle a laugh.

Michael grinned as he got back into the groove of the game, mindlessly swerving around banana peels and cursing under his breath whenever someone (usually Jeremy) passed him.

For a moment, Michael’s eyes darted away from the tv to look at Jeremy. He was sitting criss-cross on his bean bag, the sleeves of his cardigan rolled up to his elbows, biting his bottom lip out of concentration while his eyes were glued to the glowing screen. Even though strands of his slightly messy hair were falling in front of his eyes, Jeremy’s hands still remained gripped to his wii controller. Michael found it absolutely adorable.

It took every ounce of self control in his body not to pause the game, cup Jeremy’s face in his hands and plaster his cheeks, forehead, and neck with soft, tender kisses. He wanted to run his hands through Jeremy’s hair and fall asleep with him in his arms, feeling the steady rise and fall of Jeremy’s chest and his heartbeat against his own. Then wake him up the next morning with a kiss on his forehead and-

“In your face, Michael!” Jeremy cheered, bringing Michael back to reality.

Michael took a quick look back up at the tv. Jeremy had won the race (passing Michael right before the finish line), which gave him enough points to win overall. Michael smiled, “You’re the worst, Jeremiah Heere.”

“Yeah, but you also have no idea how much I’ve wanted to beat you in Mario Kart,” Jeremy giggled before sitting back down in his bean bag chair, “It’s been like, _your game_ since we were in - crap, was it third or fourth grade?

A small laugh escaped Michael’s throat, “No clue, but I’m up for a rematch if you are.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes, a tiny grin on his face, “Okay, fine,  but I get to choose the courses this time.”

“Deal.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael cheers Jeremy up after a bad day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote something over 1k for once!!
> 
> Thanks to the amazing @chokingonholywater for betaing this (and making it readable lmao). You're a peach and ilysm!!

Michael was leaning against his PT cruiser, fidgeting with one of his hoodie strings while waiting (albeit, impatiently) for Jeremy to meet in him the parking lot so he could give him a ride home.

To be honest, Michael considered driving Jeremy back to his house to be the best part of his day. They only had study hall and lunch together this year, so Michael didn’t see him as much as he used to. Being able to talk to Jeremy - not the quiet and unremarkable persona he had at school, but the  _ real _ Jeremy, the one he fell in love with, made the drive home the best eight and a half minutes of his day.

The shitty part was, in the six days since Michael asked Jeremy about homecoming, strange, awkward silences had suddenly become a lot more common than they used to be, which scared Michael more than he thought it should have.

“C’mon Jer… where are you?” Michael said under his breath, trying to see if he could pick out Jeremy in the small groups of students that were still trickling out of the building. He hoped that whatever was making Jeremy late wasn’t anything too bad.

Even though he knew it probably wasn’t a big deal, Michael couldn’t help but worry. He sighed and grabbed his phone to shoot Jeremy a text, which was actually a lot harder than he thought it would be. He ended up typing out, then deleting, then retyping several messages. It was so hard to try and sound concerned - but not too concerned - about it. Jeremy was just late, and in reality, it really wasn’t something to be worried about, but Michael was in love, and that made things different… somehow.

After a minute of coming up with different texts, Michael finally settled on a simple question.

_ [Player 1] hey jer do you need me to drive u home today?? or do you have something else going on? _

It wasn’t perfect, but at least he didn’t seem like he had a hopeless crush. He sounded like a concerned friend, nothing more.

A little over ten minutes went by since Michael sent his text, and there was still no sign of Jeremy. At this point, the only people who were still on the school grounds were those who were part of football and the other fall sports, the band kids, and of course, Michael, who was still waiting.

“Maybe he's just retaking a test or something,” Michael reasoned, trying to think of something rational before he started to convince himself that Jeremy somehow got himself kidnapped or some other dumb bullshit.

Michael was about to walk back into the school to try and find Jeremy when he felt his phone buzz in his hoodie pocket. Hastily, Michael grabbed his phone and saw that Jeremy had finally replied to his text.

_ [Player 2] left school early today. i don't need a ride. sorry for not telling you earlier _

Michael let out a small sigh as he opened up his car door and sat down in the driver’s seat, but waited a minute before putting the key into the ignition so he could type out a reply to Jeremy’s message.

_ [Player 1] its fine but why did u leave dude?? are u okay?? _

Jeremy’s response was oddly quick.

_ [Player 2] its nothing, im fine really _

Michael shook his head, knowing that Jeremy was probably lying. Jeremy had only left school early twice since freshman year. The first was because he got swimmer's ear from gym class, and the second was because he got the stomach flu and threw up in the bathroom. 

_ [Player 1] ok jer _

No, that wouldn’t do. He sounded too uncaring - robotic, almost.

_ [Player 1] if u need anything u know who to call, ok dude? _

With an acidic feeling of worry beginning to fester in his gut, Michael rammed his keys into the ignition of his car and plugged the aux into his phone so he could drown out his useless paranoia with some Bob Marley. It was going to be a long drive.

* * *

Michael didn’t hear anything from Jeremy that evening. He tried sending a few more texts - not too many, though, he didn’t want to seem clingy - but to no avail. It was strange, to say the least. Jeremy had gone from barely being able to go a few hours without sending Michael a text to being so silent that it felt as if he had fallen off the face of the goddamn Earth.

At almost one in the morning, Michael decided that trying to get a hold of Jeremy that night was basically a lost cause, and the he was better off just going to sleep. He knew that if he didn’t, he’d just end up freaking himself out even more. 

The only problem was, it was impossible to sleep with so many loud and troublesome thoughts crowding his mind -  _ Is Jeremy okay? Why did he leave school early? Why isn’t he telling me anything?  _ The thoughts rolled around, refusing to let him sleep, and then he heard it: his phone buzzed. The thoughts all shut up then, leaving only one thing on his mind: he had to see Jeremy’s text.

Michael rolled over in bed and felt around his nightstand for his phone, knocking both an empty cup and his glasses on to the floor, before he grabbed hold of his phone and unlocked it.

_ [Player 2] hey i’m sorry for not talking to you much today but can you come over? _

_ [Player 1] Dude its 1 in the morning are you okay?? _

It took Jeremy a few minutes to respond.

_ [Player 2] i don't know :/ _

That was the last straw for Michael. As soon as he processed Jeremy’s text, he jumped out of his bed, pulled on some jeans and his hoodie, grabbed his glasses off the floor and his car keys off of his desk before slipping out of the back door. He didn’t know exactly what he was doing, but goddamn it he was going to make Jeremy feel better if it was the last thing he did.

Michael drove like speed limits didn’t exist, despite Jeremy’s house only being a five minute drive away. When he parked the car in the street, he saw that Jeremy’s bedroom light was still on. As quickly as he could, Michael made his way over to the area below Jeremy’s window and stood there for a moment before lightly tapping on it.

Jeremy slowly opened the window and poked his head out. He looked like a mess; his eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks were flush, and his hair, which was normally only a little bit unkept, was sticking up everywhere. He had obviously been crying, but he was trying hard to seem like he wasn’t.

“Hey,” Jeremy said, his voice wavering.

Michael stood there for a minute, his mouth hanging open, and the worry that had been plaguing him all day was replaced with a dull ache in his chest, “Jeremy, buddy, what the hell happened?”

“I-I just had a really bad day, can we just- I don’t know get slushies o-or something?” Jeremy asked, ducking out of Michael’s view. He reappeared a moment later with his signature cardigan wrapped around his shoulders, eyes wide. “I just really need to get my mind off of Chr-” Jeremy slapped a hand over his mouth before removing it a moment later, “Things.”

“Alright Jer, want me to pay?” Michael asked, pretending not to notice Jeremy’s less than slick cover up as he stuffed his hands into his hoodie pockets.

“No, no it’s fine I - I think I have some money,” Jeremy muttered as he began to climb out of his bedroom window. He landed with a soft thud on the ground below and immediately started walking towards Michael’s car, not even looking back to see if Michael was following him.

Michael didn’t mind, really. Jeremy was in his PT cruiser almost as much as he was, and he helped him pick it out, so the car was practically both of theirs. He bounded to catch up with Jeremy and slid into the driver’s seat as Jeremy buckled into the seat next to him. 

“What should I play?” Michael asked, plugging the aux cord into his phone.

“Uhh…” Jeremy paused for a moment, his brow furrowing. “I don’t know, just nothing - nothing too loud.”

“Alright, I know exactly what you need, buddy,” Michael reassured with a soft grin as he put his “chill vibes” playlist on shuffle. It took a second for the first song to start playing due to his shitty data, but once it did, Michael saw Jeremy relax a bit. It was a good start, and Michael felt himself relax a little bit, too.

The song ended as Michael pulled into the parking lot of the desolate local 7-11 and Jeremy tensed at the sudden lack of melody. Michael was the first to get out of the car, so he walked around the outside of the PT cruiser and opened up the door for Jeremy, who smiled slightly at the small gesture.

7-11 was familiar territory for Michael and Jeremy, who frequented the store so often before gaming sessions that they were probably one of the main reasons the store was still in business. They knew what was on every shelf, when they raised and lowered prices, and when they switched out the slurpee flavors.

Michael grabbed a large cup and, with a shit eating grin on his face, proceeded to fill it with an ungodly mixture of every single flavor they had - a total of twelve different flavors. He gave it a few shakes until it all melded together into a weird reddish brown color.

Jeremy grimaced as he glimpsed Michael’s concoction. “You do this every single time we come here and-”

Michael nudged Jeremy affectionately with his elbow. “And it gets you  _ really _ mad, I know.”

A small giggle escaped Jeremy’s throat as he filled up his cup with a pure blue raspberry slushie. He still looked tenser than usual, but Michael had gotten him to laugh, at least for a moment, so that was definitely progress. 

Michael grabbed a wadded up five dollar bill from his jeans pocket and passed it to the cashier as she slowly rang up their slushies. When she was done, Michael and Jeremy sat on the gum covered sidewalk outside of the store, basking in the artificial neon lights. 

They sat in silence for a little while. Michael looked over at Jeremy every so often to check if he looked any better, and to his dismay, he didn’t. Jeremy’s shoulders were still tense and his eyes were locked to a particular dried piece of gum in the parking lot, like he was trying to focus on that instead of whatever the hell was troubling him so badly. Michael hated seeing Jeremy like this, and he desperately wanted to do something about it.

Less than a moment later, he realized he  _ could _ do something about it.

Michael scoot closer to Jeremy and gently placed a hand on his. When Jeremy didn’t flinch or show any physical signs of discomfort, Michael moved his hand and wrapped it around Jeremy’s shoulders instead. Jeremy leaned into Michael’s side and murmured something Michael didn’t hear before taking a small sip of his slushie.

“Alright Jeremy,” Michael said in a low, comforting voice, “you kind of ignored me for a good half of the day, and I’m not mad at all. I know you do that sometimes when you’re upset. If you don’t mind me asking, I kinda wanna know what’s wrong.”

This time, Jeremy actually answered. “I-I,” he swallowed, “god I really shouldn’t have gotten so worked up or like, ignored you over this, but I saw Jake ask Christine to homecoming in the hall today. He had a - a little thing of flowers a sign and everything and as soon as I saw that I felt sick and I - I don’t know why! And I was almost crying, so I ducked into the bathroom so no one could see me.” Jeremy’s breath began to hitch, and Michael noticed the tears starting to form in the corners of his eyes. “I-I’m not over her, Michael, and I don’t think I ever will be.”

Those words hit Michael like a punch to the gut, but the last thing he could do was show it. If Jeremy saw that Michael was sad at all he’d blame it on himself, and that was the last thing that either of them needed, so Michael pushed the growing pain aside aside. He had more important things to take care of right now.

“I’m sorry, Jer,” Michael murmured, setting his cup on the sidewalk and wrapping his arm around Jeremy’s back.

As soon as he did that, Jeremy threw his arms around Michael’s neck and buried his face in his shoulder, sobbing so hard his body began to tremble, “That’s it Jeremy, you’re gonna be okay,” Michael breathed, rubbing circles into the small of Jeremy's back. “Christine’s gonna realize how cool you are eventually, Jer, and when she does, she’s probably gonna dump Jake, yeah?”

Jeremy choked out a muffled “yeah” in response.

“And you know what she’s gonna do? She’s gonna end up dating you, because you’re the coolest person I know,” Michael reassured.

“I’m the only person you know,” Jeremy mumbled, his sobs beginning to subside. Michael grinned, “Yeah well you’re still the coolest, and nothing’s gonna change that.”

Jeremy looked up at Michael. His eyes were still red and puffy, and tears were still pooled in the corners of his eyes, but his breath wasn’t hitching anymore. Michael counted that small blessing as progress.

“Really?” He asked.

“Uh yeah, you’re my player two,” Michael said, moving one of his hands so he could ruffle Jeremy’s hair.

Jeremy giggled and pushed Michael away affectionately before wiping some of the stray tears off of his cheeks with the sleeve of his cardigan. Even when he was sad, Jeremy was still adorable.

“Oh hey I - I wanna ask you something,” Jeremy said, picking up his slushie and taking a sip.

“Go for it, bud,” Michael replied, slowly letting go of Jeremy, but leaving one of his hands entwined with Jeremy’s (Michael was a little surprised that Jeremy didn’t pull away, but he was more touchy when he was upset).

“Well, I was thinking that maybe since neither of us have dates to homecoming anymore...”

Michael froze as soon as Jeremy mentioned homecoming, and a million thoughts began to rush through his mind. He had a pretty solid idea of what Jeremy was going to ask, and it made his face grow deep red with blush - thank god Jeremy wouldn’t be able to see it in the near darkness.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go with me? So neither of us are, well, you know,” Jeremy paused for a moment before looking into Michael’s dark brown eyes, “alone?”

Michael didn’t know what to say, not because he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go with Jeremy or not, but because he physically couldn’t form words no matter how hard he tried. The way Jeremy looked into his eyes, like he was scared to even ask the question, and how he was fidgeting nervously with the sleeve of his cardigan had him falling apart in the best way.

“Michael? I-it’s okay if you don’t wanna go with me, I completely underst-”

Jeremy was interrupted with Michael quickly embracing him. It was really the only way he could say yes, since talking really wasn’t an option at this point. 

“Is that a yes?” Jeremy asked softly, resting his chin on Michael’s shoulder.

Michael nodded, a large grin on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so first of all, the song that Michael plays in the car is Bad things by Milky Chance (its in my own chill playlist and i was listening to it over and over while writing this, so give it a listen)
> 
> Second, I took wayyy too long to update this, and I'm really sorry about that. I need to keep my grades up and school has been hell the past week, with this cardmarking ending and all that, but with break and shit coming up soon I'll be more free soon!
> 
> Anyway uhh idk what else to say except that comments make my entire week so dont be afraid to leave one!! :o


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The eight and a half minute car ride to the Homecoming dance is much more eventful than Michael could've expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for JuniperMoon for betaing this! If any of you guys like bmc or rpdr you should go read some of her shit because its very good! (Also follow her on tumblr @lostenemies)

Michael sat impatiently in the driver’s seat of his car, his shaky hands white-knuckling the steering wheel even though he wasn’t even driving, and the car wasn’t turned on either. In fact, it was parked in Jeremy’s driveway, and the only significant movement was the violent bouncing of Michael’s right leg.

It had been nearly two weeks since Jeremy asked him to the dance in a 7-11 parking lot, of all places, and Michael couldn't stop thinking about it. He had analyzed that night over and over, trying to find a sign -- if there was one -- that Jeremy might've wanted to go with him not just as friends, but as his date. 

On top of that, Michael had gone over every possible scenario of how homecoming could go. He had paced around his room, talking to himself about what to do if something went wrong for nearly half an hour before he realized it was time to go pick up Jeremy, but for some reason, he still had a gnawing, nagging feeling that he was going to ruin his crush’s night.

With a loud thunk, Michael let his head fall on the steering wheel, and a drawn out groan escaped from his throat. “You’re gonna fuck this up, Mell. Guaranteed.” 

After a good five minutes of laying with his head on the steering wheel -- there was bound to be a mark on his forehead at this point -- Michael heard the Heeres’ front door squeak open. Michael suddenly snapped out of his quasi-distressed state, and as soon as he realized what was happening, he cursed and tried to fix both his disheveled hair and tie before Jeremy could see him.

Luckily, Jeremy was talking to his dad, which bought Michael some extra time to perfect his appearance before hopping out of his car to greet his “date.”

“Hey, Mikey!” Jeremy said, a cheery tone in his voice as he walked towards Michael's car. He had a spring in his step that was rather unusual, especially for someone who usually slouched and walked quickly in order to stay invisible to those around him.

Michael pulled Jeremy into a quick hug, and Jeremy reciprocated in full force, squeezing Michael a bit before pulling away. Michael was incredibly surprised by how touchy Jeremy was. He didn’t mind at all, in fact, Michael enjoyed the physical contact, but something seemed off about it. Michael brushed it aside, however. Seeing Jeremy happy made him happy, and that's all that mattered.

“Are you ready to go?” Michael asked, leaning against the side of his car, using his hand for support.

Jeremy adjusted his tie and ran a hand through his hair, “Yeah, but do you think I look okay? I don't wanna walk into homecoming looking even worse than I usually do.” 

Before Michael could gush to Jeremy that he always looked very,  _ very  _ handsome, Mr. Heere (thankfully) rushed out of the house with his phone in hand.

“Wait!” Mr. Heere exclaimed, seeming slightly out of breath, “Can I get a picture of you two before you leave?”

“Yeah, sure,” Michael said, and almost instantaneously, him and Jeremy arranged themselves in front of Michael’s car with their arms around their shoulders, and smiles on their faces that were anything but forced.

"Alright, say cheese!” Mr. Heere took the photo, and studied his phone for a second before smiling, “I think that one turned out good! Do you guys wanna see?” 

Michael looked back at Jeremy who simply nodded his head, and they both walked over to see the photo.

Michael thought he looked as fine as expected, although the cowlick near the back of his head was poking up again. Jeremy, however, looked absolutely stunning. He was wearing a tie that brought out his gorgeous blue eyes. It was also obvious that he put more effort into his already beautiful hair instead of just combing it back like he usually did. On top of it all, he was smiling a full, toothy grin -- which he never did in most photos. For once, he seemed incredibly confident.

“Do you want me to retake it?” Mr. Heere asked.

“I think it looks good, do you like it, Jere?” Michael looked at Jeremy for approval. Jeremy responded with an adorable smile and a thumbs up.

“Alright guys, have a good time tonight.” Mr. Heere put his phone back in his pocket as he walked back towards the house. “And Jeremy, unless you’re sleeping over at Michael’s, try and be home before eleven.”

“Okay,” Jeremy said as he hopped into the front seat of the car. “See you later, dad.”

Mr. Heere waved as Michael maneuvered his car out of the driveway and onto the nearly empty side street, giving Jeremy's house one last glance before turning onto the main road. 

“So, Michael, are you excited?” Jeremy asked.

Excited couldn’t even begin to describe how Michael felt. In freshman and sophomore year, homecoming meant next to nothing to Michael, but this year, it gained so much more significance in his life. Homecoming went from being an obligation -- something Michael went to just so he wouldn’t regret not showing up when he was going through his midlife crisis -- to an experience for him to share with the most important person in his life.

“Hell yeah, dude!” Michael cheered as he slowly eased his foot off of the brake pedal. As soon as the car was coming to a stop, Michael reached for the little compartment by the cupholders where he usually kept his aux cord, but it wasn’t there. Michael checked around the car; he looked in the cupholders, in the space between his seat and the center console, and he even leaned over to see if it somehow got over on Jeremy's side of the car to no avail. 

“Hey, Jere, can you tell me when the light turns green? I'm gonna look for the aux cord.”

Hastily, Michael leaned forward and searched through some of the trash on the floor of his car to try and find the cord.  _ Where the hell did I put it?  _ Michael thought as he tossed a granola bar wrapper aside. _ Geez, I need to clean my car before something starts growing down here _ .  _ I don’t even know how half of this shit got in here -- wait is that my gameboy? I thought it was at Jeremy’s house, or maybe -- _

“Hey, Michael... ”

Michael snapped back into reality, but he didn’t look up, “Yeah?

Before Jeremy could respond, the unmistakable, ear-splitting sound of a car horn came from the pickup truck behind them.

“SHIT!” Michael slammed his foot on the gas pedal and his car screeched across the road, reaching nearly twenty miles per hour over the speed limit before his adrenaline rush ended mere seconds after it began. Michael slowly took his foot off the gas and gradually applied the brake, finally reaching a reasonable speed. 

“Jeremy, I-I’m really sorry about that.” Michael was still shaking a bit. He usually wasn't this bad of a driver, but he felt more anxious than normal today, for obvious reasons. “I was distracted, and then I panicked, and then --”

Jeremy rested his hand on Michael's leg and told him to relax, which felt somewhat strange, because usually it was Michael doing that for Jeremy and not the other way around. Either way, Michael greatly appreciated the gesture. 

“It's fine, Michael,” Jeremy said, “the light had just turned green. The dude behind us was just being an asshole.”

“Well, now I feel like I overreacted.”

“I mean, we didn’t get pulled over, and we didn't hit anybody, so I-” Jeremy paused, taking his hand, which had now began to shake slightly, off of Michael’s thigh and resting it on his knee, “I guess everything's fine?”

“Yeah, alright.” 

Michael let out a quick breath, and drew his focus back towards the road and not on his conversation with Jeremy, which was an incredibly difficult thing to do, especially when Jeremy looked as handsome as he did. The few minutes of silence between the boys was strained, to say the least. Jeremy’s calmness and cheeriness had faded away over this period of time, and he was starting to act more like the Jeremy he was at school -- nervous, introverted, and uncomfortable.

On the other hand, Michael was full of both a sense of both longing and of embarrassment. He wanted to break the silence and continue his conversation with Jeremy, talk to him about anything, even wade into dangerous waters and ask him if he’s excited to see Christine, but that feeling that he was going to ruin homecoming for Jeremy was back in full force, and there was nothing he could do about it. The sad part was, he knew, deep down, that Jeremy didn’t really care about his whole distracted driving incident, but he couldn’t help but feel like an idiot for not paying attention.

“So um -- by the way,” Jeremy blurted out, ending both the silence and Michael’s dejected train of thought, “I just realized I was sitting on the aux cord this whole time, I’m uh… sorry about that.” 

Every last one of Michael’s worries melted away in that instant. Jeremy, in this moment of pure candid awkwardness, was absolutely adorable. Jeremy was blushing, looking down at his feet, and trying so hard not to laugh. For a second, Michael was able to stifle his laughter too before he lost it, and started laughing in full force.

“Do you want it?” Jeremy was giggling now too, his face growing from a slight pink to fully red.

“Jere, you’re such a fucking  _ dork _ ,” laughed Michael, breathless and trying (and failing) to keep his eyes on the road. “We’re literally, like, a fucking minute away from school.”

“Yeah, but,” Jeremy stood up in his seat and grabbed the aux cord from under him, “It’s probably going to take forever for us find a parking spot.” 

Michael handed Jeremy his phone from his back pocket, finally calming down from the last minute of side-splitting laughter. “Okay you’re right, play whatever you want, dude.”

Jeremy unlocked Michael’s phone -- after failing only once to type in Michael’s complicated password -- and searched through his Spotify before he pressed shuffle and placed Michael’s phone in the empty cup holder with a grin on his face. 

Michael rolled his eyes with a smile on his face. He knew Jeremy was going to play a song by Jukebox the Ghost, it was his favorite band, and even though it wasn’t Michael’s absolute favorite, their music so perfectly encapsulated Jeremy’s personality that Michael couldn’t help but enjoy most of their songs.

Drumming his hand on the steering wheel along to the beat, Michael pulled into the school parking lot and laboriously looked around for an empty spot, but almost all of them seemed to be taken. 

Around halfway through the parking lot, Jeremy started humming along to the song, and Michael’s heart swelled. Jeremy was really testing his patience, but not in a bad way: in a “I really want to kiss you because I love you more than words can describe, but I don’t know if you feel the same” kind of fashion. Either way, as soon as the next, more depressing, song started, Michael was able to find an empty spot relatively close to the entrance to the gymnasium. Once the car was in park, Michael unplugged his phone from the aux and paused his music.

“Are you ready, dude?” Michael asked.

“I mean,” Jeremy started, his voice growing more weary, “I guess.”

Gently, Michael rested his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder, “We don’t have to go if you don’t want to, you know.”

“I know,” Jeremy looked down at his feet and proceeded to mumble something Michael couldn’t quite make out.

“You’re gonna have to say that a bit louder, buddy.” Michael, who usually could be described in one word: loud, had become much softer as he consoled Jeremy.

“I said I wanna go,” Jeremy stated, an air of self-assuredness in his voice.

Michael smiled slightly and shut off his car, putting both his keys and phone into his dress pants pockets. As he opened up the car door, his hands were shaking again, but with excitement instead of anxiety this time. Tonight he was going to risk it all, he was going to relieve himself from the weight of the unrequited crush he’d been bearing for years. Michael threw the possible consequences to the wind as he decided that tonight, he would confess to Jeremy all that he had felt for him since the seventh grade. Tonight, he was going to tell Jeremy that he loved him.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so it's been, what, 8 months since I last posted a chapter? Oops!
> 
> Okay for real though, I'm actually pretty sorry about that. I lost interest in this fic for a while and I got caught up with school and I had no time or inspiration to write. However, It's summer break for me now, and I'm pretty into this fic again, so the final chapter will hopefully be out... I don't know anymore so I'm gonna say sometime before summer ends.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for putting up with my bs, and if you liked this fic, leave a comment!! They make my entire goddamn year!!
> 
> Edit: The Jukebox The Ghost song that was playing was Lighting Myself on Fire if anyone wants to give it a listen

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 2 is gonna come out soon-ish? I don't really know for sure, but I do have a lot of free time now which is cool.
> 
> If you like my stuff don't be afraid to leave a comment they make my entire goddamn week


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